My four-year-old son knows his alphabet and sounds. However he often confuses the letters sounds for c, k, and s. He also mixes up the letters d, b, and p by identity (example: he will call the letter d either p or b, or vice versa.) He also has a hard time sounding out his words. He would rather guess at it then try to sound it out. Often times, I will get frustrated with him and fuss at him, which I know is not the answer, but its hard to get him to focus. Is there an approach that I can take that won’t get both of us frustrated? We have done [a phonics program] thing; it just doesn’t seem to get to him. HELP!

The things you’re describing are all typical four-year-old behavior. I see these sort of letter confusions all year in my four-year-old classes. There’s no real magical secret to teaching them the different letter sounds and letter recognition, it’s pretty much an issue of repetition. The magic comes in how you can get them to repeat the same concepts over and over again, without becoming bored beyond tears. Making repetition into a game is the best way I know. Then as you play the games over and over again, they are repeating the information until it sticks in their brain, while they think they are playing a fun game with mommy or teacher.

Learning the difference between b and d is simply a matter of teaching “point of reference”. Using phrases like b has a fat tummy and d has a fat behind are verbal visuals that will remind your child what letter he’s looking at. Having him go through your kitchen pantry with sticky notes and identify every b and d that he sees is a fun game. Give him a marker and have him circle as many b’s and d’s on a cereal box as he can find. Games like this are important for repetition, and gets to write all over a cereal box with a permanent marker. He’s happy and learning at the same time.

The same thing applies for the sounds of c, k, and s. Many children think c says sssss because we pronounce the letter c with a soft sssss sound. C and k do say the same thing, so that’s OK–distinguishing between those two comes with better spelling. I never introduce the soft c sound at this age (as in celery). It’s just too confusing. That’s an “English exception” that I save for much later in their educational development.

You mentioned that he doesn’t like to sound out words. This is a bit trickier. This is an incredibly important skill that he needs to master. Teaching him blending skills gives him the ability to attack any word that he doesn’t know and be able to sound it out and continue reading instead of stopping because he doesn’t know the word. Many phonetic programs leave out this very important step. They teach the alphabet letters and sounds and then jump right into reading, often skipping the concept of blending these new sounds into words. Blending is the key to successful reading after your child understands the sounds of the letters. Work extra hard on blending concepts and don’t let him get away with just guessing at the words. Slow down and back up if necessary to ensure that he has a grasp of this concept. It will make reading so much easier in the very near future. It’s worth your time now.