My son turned three on February 19th. He has learned M, A, P, and S. I ask him in front of friends and family what each letter says and a word that starts with each one. He gets confused and says “Andrew the Alligator starts with p.” How can I help him not get confused? Should I start over from scratch and redo all the letters or what? Also another question—when should he start learning how to write? He is getting better on making circles but he cannot quite write the letters. Does it just take lots of practice, or should I wait until he is a little older?

You mentioned that he is just barely 3 years old. This is very young for reading concepts to be retained and recalled. It sounds like he is enjoying “playing” the reading games with you (the lessons) and that he is interested, but is just a little young yet. I would back off for a little bit at this point. He’s hearing you and getting the idea, just not being able to retain the information in the correct order. That’s OK—he’s still very young, and we want reading to be fun and stay fun. If your Phonics program has music, it would be wonderful to use at this time. Play it everywhere—in the car, while he’s playing, while he’s in the tub, etc. Letting him associate the name of a letter with a sound and having him here it so often that it becomes automatic is a great pre-reading step.

The ability to write comes with the development of super fine motor skills. As a 3-year-old, he’s still working on this skill and working on the development of the small muscles and connective tissues in his little hand. Until he can hold a pencil and control it, being able to write the letters properly will be a difficult task for him. Intellectually, he might be able to understand the meaning of the letters and sounds that you’re introducing to him, but also being able to write them is an important part of the lesson. I would go slow here and let his interest in the lessons, music, and blending games be your guide. If he ever loses interest, back off for a bit. He’s only 3 and has plenty of time to work on figuring out the reading code.

Some fine motor development skills that he might enjoy are coloring books, letter writing to grandma, aunts, etc. (be sure to take notes so that you can decipher the letter later—they usually turn out to be darling), while he’s developing the skill to hold and control pencils. Start with bigger preschool pencils if he has difficulty holding the smaller ones. The same is true with crayons. Also, there are rubber pencil helpers that go on pencils that help children learn how to form their fingers around a pencil correctly. Your school supply store or stationary store should have some. Scissors (children’s safety scissors of course—Fiskar makes a great blunt tipped pair for either left or right handed children) are a big help in developing fine motor skills. I usually bring in old magazines and just let my little children in class go at them. Sometimes I ask them to cut out a specific picture, sometimes it’s just “monster chomping” day where they cut up every page they can. Chomp, Chomp, Chomp go the scissors. Cutting is a two-handed activity (one to hold the page, one to cut) so it works both hands. Hope this helps. Have fun working with your child.