My 6-year-old does not recognize letters, sounds, or phonics. I try to teach her this at home, and they also go over these skills in school, and she is not learning. She does not pay attention to what is being said to her. She has extreme difficulties following instructions. She cannot count to 50 yet without assistance through the entire thing. I think she may have a learning disorder, but every evaluation she has had says she is normal. Why is it so difficult to teach her anything?

You raise some interesting points. Without having met your daughter, it’s hard for me to say, but let me offer a few guidelines that may give you something to think about.

First of all, children mature academically and physically at very different rates. Some children mature quickly and seem to figure school out right away, and some children take a bit longer. But given that her age is 6, a few of the things that you mentioned may be cause for questioning. Most children by age 6 can identify at least some of the alphabet letters and sounds, can count to 50 or higher without assistance, and can follow instructions 3 to 5 layers deep. Since she seems to have difficulty with these tasks, asking the question “why” seems to be right in order. I think this would be an opportune time to open a continuous discussion with her teacher. (Since she’s 6, I’m assuming that she’s in kindergarten, or maybe first grade?) Her teacher should be able to give you some very solid information about her progress and share with you any concerns that she may have about your daughter’s development. It may be that she is just academically immature and will catch up soon enough. An open and frank dialogue with her teacher should be able to answer most of your questions.

The fact that the evaluations say she’s “normal” might be another point of discussion for you with her teacher. “Normal” as compared to what? Normal for her age? Normal as compared to the rest of the kids in her class? Normal as compared to children nationally that are 6? Evaluations vary widely and score and test different things. I would ask very specific questions about what they are evaluating and what that might mean for you and your daughter.

As a teacher, I might also recommend a trip to the pediatrician’s office. A thorough physical might turn up some information that could be useful; eyes, ears, speech, etc. Discuss freely with him/her your concerns and what you might suspect about learning issues. He might be able to give you some help in these areas as well as recommending some wonderful resources for you. Good luck to you and your daughter.