I have 3½-year-old that I wanted to start on a Phonics program. I got a program about 6 months ago, and she wasn’t ready to sit with me. I want to start up again but I don’t know where to begin with a child of her temperament. She does not want to wait for an explanation and her listening skills need a lot of work. She is good at tuning people out. She just wants to do it, color the pictures and move on. She can, in some cases, associate a letter with an object or person (if she sees an A, she says apple, or S is snake) instead of actually saying the letter. Any ideas on how I can better explain to her the difference between a letter and the object it’s associated with?

It sounds to me like your daughter is a very typical 3-year-old. You mentioned that she is interested in the music, the letter pieces, and coloring, but is not interested in repeating or drilling on any specific letter. That’s pretty normal behavior for a 3-year-old. Quite often the interest to make the association between the letter and the sound it makes comes more when they are 4 to 4 ½ years old. Her lack of interest in repeating things to you could be that she’s just not ready yet. Don’t push her, let her learn at her own pace. I would listen to the music—have it on in the background when she’s playing, in the bathtub, in the car, etc. The music is a very good introduction to the whole process. Let her play letter games around the house, always associating a sound with a letter. When she is curious about the letters in her name, how to spell her name, how to spell your name—these are pretty good signs that she’s ready to make the connection between the letter and the sound and how they fit together in a word. Meanwhile, don’t get discouraged. Keep it light and simple and fun, and when she’s ready, she’ll get it. Keep up the good work and enjoy working with your child.