I have a concern about teaching our daughter to read. She is not interested in blending. When I try, at first she will participate, say three, three letter words and then this wall goes up. She knows her traditional ABC song, we do the flashcards with the Alphabet song and follow the guidelines in our Phonics program but when I show her the letters without the music, she does not know their names. She does know the sounds of the letters that we have done for the most part, but lots of times she says that she doesn’t know letter after letter even though I know she does know. And I know she knows because she will sit in my husband’s lap and identify letters. Then she says my Mommy taught me all these letters. What is the right thing to do? I have difficulty with my type-A personality in not pushing and working on the process not the product. I don’t want to ruin her love of reading.

I loved hearing about how you’re working with your daughter on her blending skills. It always makes me smile to hear stories of parents helping their children learn to read. Good Job! I didn’t catch your daughter’s age, but I’ll give you a few ideas that might help.

Showing a lack of interest or having a short attention span with blending is a fairly good indication that they don’t quite get the connection between knowing the letters and applying the letters. Every child develops language skills at a different pace. It’s important to allow for that difference in growth. That way reading will be fun, and not a chore. Keep working with the letters and sounds and finding fun ways to recognize them in words. Work on blending for just a few minutes a day and when she starts to act confused or loses interest, stop. Congratulate her on the few words she did sound out, and let her know you love how she’s working on her “reading.”

When I have children in my class who are struggling with blending, I always try to turn it into a game. I have my letter cards on the table and we see what words we can make, or I’ll have them pick three cards out of my hand and see what we can sound out with the cards they picked. Then we reverse it, and I pick three cards and see what word I can sound out. Sometimes they’re nonsense words, but they get the idea that I want them to “read” the letters in a blending way. I can usually get them to read several words for me before they tire of the “game.”

Go slowly and let your daughter determine the pace, but work consistently. Maybe every day is too much for her; perhaps every other day is reasonable, but again, for just 5-10 minutes or so. Keep it fun and light and she’ll want to “play the game again, Mommy.” It’s hard not to want to push (I know, I have the same type-A personality with my own kids), but pushing will make her want to push back and assert her own power here. Show lots of love, lots of encouragement for progress made, and I know you’ll be happy in successful in working with your daughter. It sounds like you’re already doing a great job.